The Turnip News
Hollywood let out a collective gasp of horror and shock last week when it was announced that Samuel L. Jackson, one of today’s most prolific movie icons, agreed to star in the upcoming film “Snakes On A Train”. The sequel to the 2002 flop “Snakes On A Plane” generated a total domestic gross of a mere $34 million and was labeled as “one of the worst movies ever” by Rolling Stone Magazine. A leaked trailer for the sequel is now online and includes a god-awful, gut-wrenching scene with the 64-year-old actor looking into the camera and saying “What’s with all these mutha fuckin snakes on this mutha fuckin train!?”.
The Hollywood Free Press reported that many actors, directors and members of the general public who saw the trailer, simultaneously jumped into oncoming highway traffic after being unable to get the sequel’s images out of their heads. It was even reported that one of Jackson’s agents took a power drill to his temple upon hearing about the movie’s plot summary and cast members. The movie will allegedly be set entirely on a train where a group of Russian militants accidentally unleash crates of rare, poisonous snakes onto a VIA Rail train. And that’s all it says. That’s the plot in its entirety. Yes, it’s true.
The film will be released next Christmas and will likely set back African-Americans by at least 60 years, experts say.
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Hollywood let out a collective gasp of horror and shock last week when it was announced that Samuel L. Jackson, one of today’s most prolific movie icons, agreed to star in the upcoming film “Snakes On A Train”. The sequel to the 2002 flop “Snakes On A Plane” generated a total domestic gross of a mere $34 million and was labeled as “one of the worst movies ever” by Rolling Stone Magazine. A leaked trailer for the sequel is now online and includes a god-awful, gut-wrenching scene with the 64-year-old actor looking into the camera and saying “What’s with all these mutha fuckin snakes on this mutha fuckin train!?”.
The Hollywood Free Press reported that many actors, directors and members of the general public who saw the trailer, simultaneously jumped into oncoming highway traffic after being unable to get the sequel’s images out of their heads. It was even reported that one of Jackson’s agents took a power drill to his temple upon hearing about the movie’s plot summary and cast members. The movie will allegedly be set entirely on a train where a group of Russian militants accidentally unleash crates of rare, poisonous snakes onto a VIA Rail train. And that’s all it says. That’s the plot in its entirety. Yes, it’s true.
The film will be released next Christmas and will likely set back African-Americans by at least 60 years, experts say.
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