Soccer Milestone Celebrated As 10th Goal is Scored in Sport’s History

The Turnip News

You couldn’t have written it any better.

A gorgeous strike by Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney in the 2,009,567^th minute against Bayern FC that broke a scoreless tie and solidified the historical match in the record books forever – the coveted 10^th goal ever scored in any game ever played in the history of soccer throughout the whole world.

Soccer had been anticipating this magnificent accomplishment for nearly a decade and it couldn’t have come any sooner. Deadlocked for nearly a decade at nine total goals ever scored in the world at any soccer game ever played, many sports analysts wondered if that 10^th goal would ever reach the highlight reel. But it finally did and hundreds of soccer fans around the world rejoiced in unison as the total number of goals ever scored in their sport finally reached double-digits.

Rooney, who has played in numerous championship matches in his career said this particular victory was special. “I’m just glad SOMEONE scored, ya know?” exclaimed Rooney holding a juice box in one hand and a watermelon slice in the other. “I’ve played in some big games, and most of them ended in scoreless ties…this goal was not only big for me, but for the sport. I just hope it doesn’t take another 150 years to score another 10 goals,” added Rooney being optimistically delusional referring to when soccer became formalized in 1863.

The rate at which soccer goals have been scored over the last 50 years equates to about one goal every 15 years so the magnitude of reaching the milestone of this achievement is truly amazing.
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