Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Understandably Depressed Soccer Referee Thinks To Self “There’s Gotta Be More To Life Than This”

The Turnip News
While standing on the sidelines of a soccer match being played in front of 130,000 screaming fans, professional soccer referee Hanz Farhan, 34, sadly pondered to himself if this was the only thing life would ever have to offer him.

Half-hazardly trudging up and down the pitch holding his whistle, Farhan couldn’t help but wonder if his life would remain as stagnant as it is now – watching grown men prance around on grass in a never-ending scoreless tie for the rest of his life.

“Ugh,” he muttered to himself as another ball was kicked out of bounds.

“It’s gotten to the point where even giving out red cards bore me to death,” said Farhan to absolutely no one listening. “I just wish there was more to life than this, ya know?” he later asked himself, hoping someone was around to engage in conversation.

As the championship game ended at 0-0 with a shootout needed to decide a winner, Farhan was reportedly heard sobbing as he placed the ball in front of the goal. His exasperated breathing also made it difficult for him to blow his whistle.

“I can’t believe this is what my life is now,” he thought as he motioned for whatever player to come kick the ball.

The shootout ended and Farhan left the stadium more and more depressed with each passing hour. He later contemplated suicide knowing next week he had to ref the Euro Cup Final match.
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