Despite what the animated story may tell you about a beautiful native woman who lives in the forest and falls in love with a white settler, the real-life person is actually quite atrocious, according to witnesses.
Living deep in the bushes with her tribe just outside of Kelowna, B.C, the real-life Pocahontas weighs nearly 300 pounds, uses bark as a tooth-brush and is extremely violent when approached by outsiders. She allegedly smells of ‘rotten vegetables’ and has a ‘grotesque, mud-covered face’.
A film documentary crew made the discovery last week as part of an ongoing project to bring the Disney classic tale to life. What they witnessed was nothing less than shocking.
“We were told the ‘real Pocahontas’ was just beyond those bushes,” said film director Terrence McCann while trudging through a deep wooded area. “But when we saw a clearing, this behemoth of a woman charged at us holding some kind of shank made from an elephant tusk,” he said. “There was blood all over her hands.”
Other film crew members also remember the horrific shrieking sounds made by the screaming, filth-ridden forest dweller.
“I almost shit my pants,” said Gary Shappero, the crew’s sound editor. “We got some great footage, but the documentary is going to resemble nothing like the Disney movie. This is some disturbing, scary shit,” he added.
As of press time that evening, the film crew were nervously huddled around a fire as Pocahontas screamed out ancient native death cries every few minutes while awaiting her chance to jump out and stab someone.
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hahaha "behemoth of a woman charged at us"
ReplyDeleteThe photo, wow!
Ok... Pocahontas was born in 1967-ishm.ishis... So apparantly she was 300 years old? Seriosly guys?
ReplyDeletePocahontas lived in the 1600's, where there wasn't technology like cameras....hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteWeak
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