The Turnip Releases Its Top 3 Vacation Spots To Get Beaten By Chris Brown

The Turnip Traveler

The winter season is at its peak but that doesn’t mean you can’t start planning your paradise getaway right now!

2013 offers plenty of potential for breathtaking vacation spots where you can relax on the beach and let loose under the sun while simultaneously getting physically assaulted by R&B singer Chris Brown.

We highlight this year’s top hot spots that you can afford!!

 

 1) New Zealand: As this year’s top choice for your dream vacation, New Zealand certainly has its perks. Take in the magnificent views of the majestic mountains situated in the east coast of Kaikoura. This is one of the only places in the world where whales can be seen all year round and Chris Brown can swing his clenched fist straight at your temple repeatedly until you black out! In addition, you can see dolphins and seals while enjoying leisurely activities like swimming, fishing and getting beaten bloody by a violent pop singer who is currently on probation.

2) Thailand: Second on our list and rising fast like Chris Brown's temper, is Thailand. Experience the beauty of the Ko Phi Phi Islands and its pristine beaches or savour the delectable spices of Bangkok’s native dishes while getting sacked in the balls and kicked in the ribs by Grammy-Award winner, Chris Breezy. Visit one of the many ancient palaces in the capital or just get a little crazy and have your head slammed through a plate glass window while begging for mercy knowing full well an enraged, psychotic Chris Brown will not let up until you are unconscious.

3) Amsterdam: Last but certainly not least on our vacation hot spot list is Amsterdam! Renowned for its world class art and fabulous flea markets, this destination is sure to leave you inspired, free-spirited and beaten half-to-death after experiencing fast flying elbows to the cranium by American recording artist, Chris Brown. For the perfect picnic, head to Vondelpark - the largest green space in the city and a great way to spend nice, relaxing afternoon outdoors. Named after poet Joost van den Vondel, the park is known for its wide open spaces, the enormous Picasso sculpture in the middle of the park and the inevitable location where hip-hop superstar Chris Brown will chase you down and bitch slap you until you cry.

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