The Turnip News
One of Pelican Bay Federal Penitentiary’s extorted prisoners, Lester Coleman, 31, is forced to have his mom bake cookies for his entire cell-block or face violent consequences from inmates.
Currently serving four years for tax evasion and insider trading, Coleman lives in a cell shared with 11 other prisoners, all awaiting sentencing for convicted crimes ranging from home invasions to first-degree murder. Coleman’s only chance at avoiding daily assaults and group beatings is by having his mother, Betty Coleman, 74, bake several dozen assorted flavoured cookies each week to ensure her son’s safety.
“I love them cookies, ya dig!” exclaimed a man known only as “Rocko”, one of Coleman’s cellmates. “Good Ol’ Misses Lester betta keep on sendin’ us dat shit or I’mma whoop dis muha fucka right here!,” he exclaimed while pointing at a visibly distraught Coleman, curled up on the corner of his bed rocking back and forth.
“People in here get extorted, QUICK ya know? If someone is weak, den I’d extort them in a heart-beat, fa showe. In a fuckin’ heart beat,” added Rocko. Coleman is eligible for parole in less than a year, but could be out sooner due to good behaviour – a reality known to his cellmates who want to keep him there, however.
“They heard I can get out soon so they are trying to set me up with drugs, or force me to beat up a guard. All kinds of crap…” whispered Coleman to reporters right before recess in the yard.
“You gotta help me!,” he pleaded before being dragged out of bed by an inmate and forced to fight him.
“G.A.B.O.S, Sucka! Rememba that shit! The Game Ain’t Based On Sentiment,” exclaimed an unknown inmate right before sucker punching Coleman in the back of the head.
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GABOS hahaha
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