The Turnip News
Alberta made a bold statement yesterday after swiftly invading Quebec and subsequently taking over every tier of their government. The western superpower had been dwelling on their inherent hatred for the province for several decades, and this was finally the moment they had been planning all along. “What are you doing?! Que-ce qui passe ici?!” exclaimed Quebec Premiere Pauline Marois during a budgetary meeting that was promptly interrupted by Albertan government agents and police who had orchestrated the overthrow just minutes before.
“Everyone get on the floor! Keep your hands where I can see them and no sudden movements! This is our province now, Frenchies! Get used to it!” shouted Alberta Premier Alison Redford while holding a Glock 9mm to a summer student's head and being forced to repeat the same order in Canada’s official second language.
Alberta made a bold statement yesterday after swiftly invading Quebec and subsequently taking over every tier of their government. The western superpower had been dwelling on their inherent hatred for the province for several decades, and this was finally the moment they had been planning all along. “What are you doing?! Que-ce qui passe ici?!” exclaimed Quebec Premiere Pauline Marois during a budgetary meeting that was promptly interrupted by Albertan government agents and police who had orchestrated the overthrow just minutes before.
“Everyone get on the floor! Keep your hands where I can see them and no sudden movements! This is our province now, Frenchies! Get used to it!” shouted Alberta Premier Alison Redford while holding a Glock 9mm to a summer student's head and being forced to repeat the same order in Canada’s official second language.
Alberta’s provincial government members were quick to
instil their own legislation and policies by immediately burning any documents
written in French and also changing the name of the Poutine to the “Stampede”.
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PHOTO: The first wave of Albertan insurgents invade Quebec.
mmm the stampede
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