The Turnip News
Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt announced he will retire after the 2016 Olympics
in Russia, but apparently, has also not been busted for using performance
enhancing drugs, which is weird.
Sources confirmed that Bolt has won several gold medals during his illustrious career so far, but no one has even mentioned steroids yet. Very odd. According to research conducted by news agency Reuters, Bolt has indeed, never been caught using steroids, selling steroids or even saying the word “steroids”.
The Olympic Committee already made a statement just last week reaffirming the oddity that Bolt is a clean runner. “Mr. Bolt has passed all of his drug tests and has never once tested positive for any sort of banned substance. I know, it’s weird.” – said a spokesperson for the Committee. Avid sports fans now wait for the other shoe to drop in this bizarre discovery, knowing full well that when something is too good to be true, it’s not.
Bolt shockingly has also never been arrested, gone to court to discount a rape charge or even been caught driving drunk. So freaking weird.
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Sources confirmed that Bolt has won several gold medals during his illustrious career so far, but no one has even mentioned steroids yet. Very odd. According to research conducted by news agency Reuters, Bolt has indeed, never been caught using steroids, selling steroids or even saying the word “steroids”.
The Olympic Committee already made a statement just last week reaffirming the oddity that Bolt is a clean runner. “Mr. Bolt has passed all of his drug tests and has never once tested positive for any sort of banned substance. I know, it’s weird.” – said a spokesperson for the Committee. Avid sports fans now wait for the other shoe to drop in this bizarre discovery, knowing full well that when something is too good to be true, it’s not.
Bolt shockingly has also never been arrested, gone to court to discount a rape charge or even been caught driving drunk. So freaking weird.
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so strange hmmmmm! so freaking weird.......Hes ACTUALLY my great uncle twice removed and aborted uwu
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