Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Taylor Swift Devastated After Learning There Is No Santa

A bed-ridden, deeply depressed Taylor Swift was reportedly extremely shocked and saddened after finding out from a friend that Santa Clause is in fact, not real.

“Then who puts all the presents under the tree every year!!? HUH!??!” exclaimed a tearful Swift to her friend while Christmas shopping at a nearby mall. After informing Swift of the news and the fact that it would be physically impossible for anyone to deliver presents to every single child in the world in one night, she allegedly rebutted with “It’s because he’s magic! Everyone knows that!” before storming out of the Gap and through the food court. Nearby shoppers were also surprised for two reasons: 1: That Taylor Swift was out in public at the mall and 2: A grown woman was weeping because she actually still believed in Santa and finding out the truth was simply unbearable.

After rushing home and slamming the door to her bedroom, Swift has not exited since Monday evening. Reporters staked outside her home have not seen the country singer since, but reportedly can hear screams of sorrow and anguish coming from her bedroom window every so often.
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