The Turnip News
Local public Transit passengers confirmed there was a freak amongst them this
morning after seeing a fellow bus rider just sitting in his seat, not using any
kind of electronic device. “He was just plopped down in his seat, staring out
the window and not using his handheld. It was very bizarre,” exclaimed Kathy
Shorman, 33, who was near the obviously mentally deranged psycho. “No Facebook
surfing, no texting, nothing – just riding the bus without any kind of
entertainment. Fucking creep,” she added.
Before reports had surfaced in various media outlets, passengers who had yet to
Tweet about the modern-day-nutcase had actually witnessed the crazy fuck take
a quick nap. “How is he not texting someone or looking at Youtube!? I mean,
something’s very wrong here. I’m glad I’m not sitting next to him,” said Jordan
Hallwell, 28. At press time, the passengers managed to glance up from their
smartphones for two seconds in relief to notice the psycho getting off at a
downtown stop. “Phew, glad he’s gone,” said Hallwell before quickly returning
to his online Scrabble game on his iPhone.
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